Tag Archives: personality traits

Call It What It Is







Ladies and gentleman, I would like to introduce you to Angry Black Girl. She is the stereotypical personification of a black female with fierce attitude times ten. She resides at the back of my mind for the obviously apparent reasons. Not only is that hoe LOUD and off her fuckin rocker, she ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS gets me in trouble; hence the reason why I often have to perform rigorous maintenance on my filter. Yes I realize that’s a side eye warranted comment but I can explain.

I’m pretty sure I have mentioned the fact that I tend to speak without thinking. This non thinking before speaking first notion occurs more often than not but it occurs more frequently if I feel when I am annoyed, feeling attacked or extremely tired. Lmfao I feel like I should come with a warning label attached to my ass. Lately, I have been working extra hard to make sure I actually think before speaking. I cannot express enough how extremely tiring that can be especially in a setting that warrants a certain type of behavior and demeanor which is yet another reason why Angry Black Girl is the biggest pain in my left butt cheek.

See this bitch, not to be confused with Lady Deathstrike who is slightly more violent than Angry Black Girl, will sprout off at the mouf any chance she gets. In fact, just recently, an acquaintance and I had a choice between one of two events to attend. It was told that another person already opted for the first event. So without even thinking twice (or even before) I made the comment of “so then the second event is available?” While the comment got a slight chuckle, it also got a side eye and a wtf look. Totally was not one of my finer moments but it just goes to show how incredibly asinine I can be.

I suppose I should also mention the fact that Angry Black Girl doesn’t take rejection or dismissal very well. Not that she wants to be the center of attention because to be perfectly honest, she prefers being incognegro. Yes you read that right! I didn’t stutta! Why be the center of attention or in the middle of the action when one can quietly and mischievously scheme in the background. Better to keep the plan to yo damn self instead of sharing with the hoe next to you who might just stab yo ass in the back and take credit for YOUR detailed little plot to take over the world. Insert Pinkie and the Brain theme music here.

Now don’t get me wrong, in some instances Angry Black Girl has been more than just a little useful. I mean whereas Cheycara is more reserved and quiet; Angry Black Girl takes charge of the situation and makes the situation less favorable for the other person; hence my current predicament. I’m working hard to remain Cheycara Elaine all day every day except da weekend ba-bay but there’s always something that prevents me from being that way. Yes I could be an adult about the situation and put on my big girl panties but shit no matter how hard I try this bitch keeps trying to make her presence known. I feel like she’s the part of my personality that is like a Gemini. She’s either extremely useful, extremely troublesome with little to no middle of the road reasoning.

At any rate, I’m sure as I grow older, as my mum (not to be confused with my mother. Mum is one of my adopted mothers) would say, you lose your filter and you stop caring about what other people say. I’m only in my 30s and I’ve already lost my filter. Jesus help the person who really pisses me off because I have a feeling Angry Black Girl is up for joining the ChokeAHoe tribe.

Thanks for reading…


The Southern Yankee


Day 1: Something You Hate About Yourself

So today’s topic is somewhat difficult. What is something you hate about yourself? Hate is such a strong word don’t you think? I mean can a person really dislike something about him or herself so much that he or she ends up hating that aspect or characteristic? The answer is yes. I despise more than just a few things about myself. I despise them so much that I project that discontentment on other people. I know that seems messed up but I’m human and I do not always want to recognize that (or admit for that matter) what I dislike about other people is what I truly dislike about myself.
So what is it that I hate about myself? I won’t give the usual I have my physical appearance because I don’t really hate the way I look because when I want to be (which is rare), I can look smokin’ hot! Hair. Nails. Boots. BAM! Point is I can change my appearance anytime I want it just takes effort on my part.

I think what I truly hate about myself is that I am easily distracted by almost anything. Sort of like this. It never fails actually. Case in point I started making something for my sister Cheri almost two weeks ago and I have yet to finish it. I’m in the moment for a day or two and on day three I’m on to the next one. It’s quite sad actually because I have a million great ideas and/or projects to do but it seems like I never finish them or if I do finish something, the end result isn’t what it really could be. I find myself rushing through projects or doing the bare minimum. While that used to work in my favor when I was at Baylor, it doesn’t work so well now that I’m older. I feel like I can do and be better at everything I initially put my mind to but in the last few years, my motivation level has gone from a 10 to 1.

Not that I’m complaining or even being extremely pessimistic but perhaps being an adult is why I have been so distracted recently. And before I start going all Dr. Phil on myself trying to analyze on my problems and why I’m so screwed up let me just say by adult I don’t mean my emotions. I mean the daily rigors of being an adult. The getting up at the butt crack of frickin dawn. The driving from Podunkville to Stepford. The paying of bills, buying gas, groceries and the unexpected bullshit I need to fix my fuckin car items. I never wanted to be this adult who lives paycheck to paycheck working at a job I really could care less for and driving a car I love but cannot afford to maintain. Bother I said I wasn’t going to go all Dr. Phil so I will save this rant for another post.
So yeah.. LOL I am easily distracted with an attention span the size of an ant. Hopefully this 30 Days of Truth challenge will force me to focus.

Thanks for reading…

The Southern Yankee