Category Archives: Change Is Good, Right?

So I Did a Thing…

Sooooooo as you guys know, this is my second stint at being natural. I started my transition in January 2013 and big chopped for the second time in May 2013. If you go back through my posts between then and now, you’ll notice Luquisha has grown quite a bit. In fact, she’s growing far faster than I ever than I thought she would. Of course, I think a lot of her rapid growth is due to me actually taking care of her and being mindful of what she likes and doesn’t like.

I’ve also stopped being so dern lustful over other people’s luxurious kinky/curly/coily ringlets. Yaaaas I said lustful. During my first attempt at being natural, my biggest downfall was wanting hair like my then co worker. I want big hair that covered my ears in the winter and that I could put up in a bun during the summer. I wanted the soft bouncy curls my baby sister has currently and so many others I saw out and about and on the blogs.

I didn’t realize or shall I say I didn’t want to realize that every natural haired person has a different texture. Seriously, if no two strands of my own hair was the same how could I expect to have hair like the next Napturl? So I promised Luquisha that I wouldn’t get to outta control with the hair envy and that I’d be more patient. And I have uhhh for the most part.

Buuuuuuut then I did a thing. It’s important to mention that I don’t do this ummm thing often nor would I contemplate doing this thing more than maybe twice a year; primarily because of cost. Look at the picture below. See the top right picture labeled “after”? Yeah. That happened two maybe three weeks ago.


My baby sister got married on January 3rd and I wanted to do something different. I also wanted to see exactly how much Luquisha had grown in the last year and months. She’s pretty dern long. At least long by my standards.
The back is right below my collarbone. The sides are almost to the middle of my neck. And my bangs reach my top lip. Yooooo shrinkage is REAL! It amazes me how shrinkage that sounds so durty makes natural hair appear so much shorter than it is in actuality.

For two solid weeks, Luquisha had bounce, flip and moved effortlessly in the wind. Miss May trimmed her into layers which looked nice and defined prior to leaving the salon. But once I left, the wind sorta destroyed the definition. Stupid Texas weather really put a damper on my little hair straightening experiment. It was nasty and/or windy all the way up to the day of the wedding. I wore beanies and hats throughout the two weeks but they didn’t really prevent the moisture from frizzing out my hair.

Anyway for the wedding, lower left picture, I did an up do with a right bang scoop. The scoop was on point… before I left the house. But outside the house, it didn’t stand a chance. I put the remainder of my hair into a faux bun by putting it into a high ponytail then tucked and pinned into the shape of a bun. It was quite cute. I wish I had remembered to take pictures of it tho. It was really really cute. I was so proud of myself for thinking of it because Luquisha wasn’t going to behave if I wore her in a bob. It was just too windy that day. Plus I wasn’t trying to use too much heat on my hair as I didn’t want to have heat damage later.


So let’s discuss the pros and cons having my hair flat ironed.

Pro: allows for a pretty accurate length check

I get my hair trimmed maybe once a quarter (every three months). In doing these quarterly trims, I am able to see how long she is but she’s not completely laid and she shrinks back up after a day or two. So by having my hair flat ironed, Luquisha lays flatter so I can really see the actual length without any assumptions.

Pro: flip and bounce

If there’s one thing I absolutely loved about having straight hair was the fact that Luquisha had flip and bounce. My hair is soft, light and very airy when it’s straight so I love flipping the ends and having bounce when I walk. Don’t judge me. Luquisha can be very bougie sometimes.

Con: frizzy pointy ends

Ugh! Luquisha was LAID everywhere else but the ends. As soon as I stepped into the moist air, my ends went wild and crazy. It was annoying as fuck. Plus when I’d have on a beanie or hat, my ends would make my neck itchy. You know what I mean. Don’t you? They weren’t as soft or laid as the rest of my hair. This prolly could have been rectified with product that would coat the hair enough to make it heavier but I didn’t want too much buildup.

Con: product placement

So it’s been a good five minutes since I had straight hair. I forgot how to maintain straight hair. The majority of my products are water based and I was afraid the water would cause Luquisha to revert back to curly. So I used mostly oils the week of the wedding. I found some KeriCare oil moisturizer in my product basket as well as apricot oil and the Garnier Fructis Marvelous Oils I bought a few months ago. These worked for a little bit but caused slight buildup.

Con: cost is a muthafucka

I’m sure what I paid is nothing compared to how much some women of any ethnicity and hair type pay to get their hair done. My beautician is employed by JcPenney Salon and is a Master Stylist. So the cost is going to be pretty comparable to getting a relaxer because she shampoo/deep conditioning, blow drying, trim/cut and flat ironing are all separate costs. A regular appointment for me costs around $40 with tip. This appointment was $100 with tip but I knew it was going to cost a lot so is by far not a complaint. But if I wanted to get Luquisha straightened more often it would end up totaling the amount I would spend a year on relaxers which is not an option for my wallet anymore.


There were some other pros and cons but those mentioned above are what really stood out to me. Despite the cons, I would probably get my hair straighten again because it’s a way for me to see my hair’s true length. Well at least until she gets longer and heavier. Like I said, the shrinkage is so very real and Luquisha looks so much shorter than in reality. The good news is when I deep conditioned my hair the other day my 4c coils came back almost instantly. I couldn’t believe how quickly Luquisha soaked up the water. Cheeky heffa was prolly waiting for me to wash her. Grrr… Anyway stay tuned for an updated regimen post as I had to change how I moisturize Luquisha because of the frigid spastic Texas winter.

Thanks for reading…

The Southern Yankee

Whachu Waitin’ Fir?!


I know my excuses. What are yours?! And I don’t just mean with working out and eating healthy.

It’s time to grow a pair and start doing what you been talking and thinking about for months now. Who’s wit me?!

Thanks for reading…

The Southern Yankee

To Color or Not to Color

So over the last few weeks, I’ve been toying with the idea of coloring my hair. GASP! I’ve never in my life wanted to color my hair until now. Why? I have no earthly clue.

My natural hair color is a color most black women pay a hefty chunk of change to achieve in the salon or at home. It isn’t a very common color for a black woman and I’m truly proud of that. My hair color as well as the many other quirky facts about me, make me unique. But I want to change that for some crazy cracked out reason.

I blame Pinterest for putting all these damn ideas in my head! Yeah it’s Pinterest’s fault that sooooooo many color treated naturalistas are featured in the pins. Yep! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it… Even it is a tab okay maybe a lot faulty. WHATEVER MAN!

Yes I’m done now. Sorry… Back to the post. o_O

So the idea of color treated hair has been meandering about in my mind. I’ve been looking at Pinterest for weeks to see if I can find a color that would be suitable for my complexion. That will bring out my dark colored eyes. That won’t damage the integrity of my hair which I believe is what worries me the most. I also want a color that will not be hard to maintain. Cuz we all know that I. Am. Lazy!

Of course, I wouldn’t do anything without getting the opinion of Miss May because well she knows how extremely lazy I am about my hair. Plus she might just be able to help me decide which hair color would suit everything that is me and my laziness. Hell she might just tell me to lighten my current color and call it a day which would not be entirely a bad thing.

I suppose I just want my hair to POP and be full of kinky/coily/curly life. Stay tuned guys. I won’t make a decision until after the New Year.


Thanks for reading…


The Southern Yankee


That Was Sooooo High School

Soooooo tell me something… Is it customary to maintain relationships wit folks In ones high school graduating class? This does not include those friends who stuck with you through thick, thin, ugly, shitty and buffoonery. Think carefully about that while I finish this post.

There’s a girl from my high school class who wants to reconnect with me. Mind you it’s been relatively a little over fifteen fucking years since I’ve seen or talked to this person. FIFTEEN YEARS!!!! Not once in these years has she bothered to contact me but now all of a sudden she misses me and I’m just supposed to be like “oh heeeeey gurl! How you durn? Let’s be friends!” Fuck that shit.

Look if there’s one thing I hate most is being fake. I can’t for the life of me fake it until I make it. I just can’t especially when something feels superficial. I avoid shit when I know something isn’t going to go well for me. I just can’t even fathom why all of a sudden this person wanting to reconnect when we weren’t that close in high school. Shiiiiiiiit, we weren’t even THAT close in elementary or junior high either. I’m just extremely perplexed by this.

My sisters say I’m being rude and mean and I’m like how? Cuz I don’t want a meaningless friendship who has no idea what kind of life I’ve had. She wasn’t there when I had my daughter. She wasn’t there when I struggled to graduate from Baylor. She wasn’t there when I got my first real grown up job. She doesn’t know anything about the who or why I am the way I am. Perhaps I’m being overly dramatic about the whole situation. I mean it ain’t like I gotta nor would I ever call, text or email her all the time.

I dunno…. I feel if we were meant to be more than acquaintances then it would’ve happened by now. Right? Let’s not pretend that time makes the heart grow fonder because honestly it really doesn’t for those who didn’t bother to see about me in fifteen damn years.

Thanks for letting rant and rave…

The Southern Yankee

The Rebranding of The Southern Yankee

I need a change…

Change in my life. A change for Luquisha Renáe. A change in my blog.

Ever since Luquisha and I decided to go natural again, I have been watching various YouTube vloggers in hopes of picking up some techniques and tips for keeping and maintaining Luquisha’s strength, stability and nourishment. notice I didn’t say to make her grow. Some things aren’t THAT important!

One such vlogger is Shameless Maya. That’s her first video about. Something about this video as well as the various other videos I’ve watched spoke LOUDly to me. I am uncertain about what exactly drew me to her channel because last week wasn’t the first time i had seen on of her videos. I saw a small part of one video maybe two or three weeks ago and I suppose at that moment in time that particular video didn’t grab my attention.

But then I saw this picture on Instagram:


And said first “that shyte thur is hawt!!!!” Then thought perhaps I need to give her videos another go ’round. So I did which is why I’m writing this post.

As I mentioned before, I want to change up my blog and expand my “brand”. My dream in life is to become a successful writer and I cannot do that unless I write more and as Maya puts it “be more #shameless”. Now don’t expect to see drastic in your face changes today or tomorrow because I really need to think about the direction of my blog and how much of me I really want to give. I have so many ideas about how to evolve The Southern Yankee that I’m not even sure where or how to start. I’m always fishing for topics. I start posts and never finish them. I always focus on my obstacles instead of having that I can do anything attitude I tend to have at work most days.

But as I try to remind myself today is a new day and life is only what I make of it. I have to make more of an effort to get the results I want and need for this blog. I have to continue becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. And if that means branching out in ways I never have before than by golly so be it. I sound like a self help book.

In the meantime, here are a few items I’m going to focus on for now:
1) change the title
2) consolidate the categories
3) post more frequently
4) diversify the content
5) perhaps start a twitter or email account for my blog I’m lazy so this might not happen
6) have guest bloggers
7) develop the appearance of the site and make it more functional and appealing
8) increase traffic possibly the most important of all

I know I have my work cut out for me. I also know I’ll have to whip my own ass in gear in order to accomplish my goal. Sigh but the truth of the matter is that I’m getting older and I desperately need to be more than what I am today. I need to feel like I’ve accomplished something in my life instead of going through the motions.

So with that said, be on the lookout for the reinvented Southern Yankee.

Thanks for reading…

The Southern Yankee