The Unexpected

It’s been a rough week. Well “rough” is an understatement. It’s been more than rough but I’m not even sure what other word to use to describe how this week has been.

We received some news at work. It wasn’t the best of news and it certainly wasn’t anything ANYONE was expecting just 32 days into the New Year.

But it wouldn’t be my company if the unexpected didn’t happen at the weirdest of times. Not only am I thoroughly confused by the events of this first not even full week of February but I’m sadden. Sadden that it has to happen this way.

Sadden that the possibility of the unknown and unexpected might even come more frequently sooner rather than later.

Perhaps this is a sign. A sign to start preparing my exit strategy. To start polishing up my venacular and writing skills. Working on skills that should come second nature to me but not really anymore because I allowed myself to become too comfortable in my situation. I decided to not be as overly cautious as I usually am.

But as the old saying goes, everything happens for a reason. Surprises and/or challenges, good or bad, can come at any time of a person’s life and what one does in those instances is what changes the future for the better and sometimes for the worst. But you go through it because every moment of life is a learning experience.

So here’s to being more cautious and aware. To keeping my eyes and ears open extra wide just in case the unexpected unknown affects me.

I know I’m rambling on and on and on and on in some weird cracked out code but I just needed to get some things off ma chest.

Thanks for letting me vent…

 

the southern yankee 

Happy New Year!

I recently turned the ripe young age of 37.

For you obnoxious youngens who have issues with growing older, that is STILL considered young. Your age does not factor into how old you feel, behave or think. In fact, most people would say I have the mindset and sense of humor of a teenage boy lol! I cannot help my mind stays in the gutta 24/7/365 (or in this year’s case 366).

And while I do not have issues with my age as a number, I do indeed have issues with the impending dreaded number that is now three years in front of me.

It never fails. Every New Year since the age of 35, I have had these cry myself to sleep moments where I question my every existence. I wonder if and when I’ll finally get off my lazy ass and do something more than what I am doing currently.

I wonder if I’ll have that house with the dream kitchen I’ve been pinning so furiously about.

I wonder if my daughter will seek me out.

I wonder if I’ll have another child or two. twins or triplets would be great God so i only have to be pregnant once.. thaaaaaanks.

I wonder if I’ll land that dream job I’ve always dreamed of and/or talked about. Sports Illustrated I’m talking to you!

So much pondering yet little to no action behind my endless day dreaming.

This New Year I am not making any resolutions as I don’t usually make good on them in the first place. This year I think I’m just going to take each and every day one at a time. I don’t want to plan my life out anymore. Partly because I continuously set myself up for failure and disappointment. Partly because I don’t know what I want to do with my life anymore.

All I DO know is that life is too short and I feel that my life is wasting away by doing nothing with it. I know how utterly depressing of me to say but I’m in that kind of mood right now.

Anyway… thank you again for following me on this journey called life. I promise to one day get better at this blogging thing!

 

Thanks for reading…

 

the southern yankee

 

One Month Away

Yesterday literally marked one month until my burfday!

I dunno about you guys but I absolutely LOVE my birthday. Not only is it my favorite holiday of the year but every year it makes me a little more thankful for life, love and health.

Yes I realize not a lot of people like their birthdays. They’d rather not celebrate or do anything because it reminds them of what they haven’t done in life. It somehow depresses them when in my most humble and honest opinion people should be grateful to even be alive to see another birthday.

Not to be a Debbie downer or anything, but there are waaaaaaay too many individuals and/or their families that are robbed almost daily of the opportunity of celebrating another year on this earth. Call me overly sentimental but to even be able to wake up on one’s birthday is an absolute blessing that a lot of us seem to take for granted until it’s too late.

Sigh I know “way to kill the mood SoYa.” Sorry…

We’ll get back to the post at hand now…

This year for my birthday, I’m treating myself to a hair cut at Planet Curls. I’d be lying out my ass if I said I wasn’t nervous about this appointment. I’ve never been to a curly salon before. Nor have I ever been to a non-ethnic beautician before. But I’m going to my sister’s stylist so I’m not overly nervous nor do I feel like I will not be in capable hands as my sister’s hair looks marvelous. I think I’ll also get a badly needed mani pedi. Haven’t had one of those in YEARS! I’ll have to find a really cool color for my finger nails. They should be long enough by then to do my own and not get acrylics.

Anyway… I’m gonna warn you guys now; I’m probably going to be making  weekly possicle even biweekly countdown updates. Oh yes this gets more and more ridiculous as it gets closer to my birthday. Just be prepared ok?

 

Thanks for reading…

 

the southern yankee 

Something to Ponder: I’m Not Like Other Girls

My big sis sent this to me the other day and it got me thinking. ha like i need ANYTHING to make me think

Take a gander.

I have to say in my opinion I’m not at all like most girls.

Cliché or not, I pride myself on being different. On not conforming to what religious conservatives deem how my race and gender should behave and look like. For not focusing my life on the media’s portrayal of what a black woman should be.

I’m very much a tomboy who thoroughly enjoys cursing and swearing, watching AND playing sports as well as throwing back a cold brew or a stiff put hair on your chest drank. I talk mad shit wit the boys and make lewd and inappropriate jokes. I’m a car enthusiast and aspiring mechanic. Did I mentioned I fucking HATE dressing like a damn girl? absolutely loathe that shit! You have NO idea!

I have wildly crazy natural hair that seems to have a mind of her own but I don’t nor will I straighten it because someone else tells me to or because society says I’m not pretty. Luquisha is hur to stay bitches!

I have a big ass but I don’t really try to accentuate it to make it seem like my milkshake brings all the boys (or girls) to the yard or even come swarming towards me.

My attitude at times is not because I’m uneducated or don’t got common fucking sense cuz I got a fucking degree from a top notch school mayne but because I like to be funny and adapt to my surroundings and people around me.

Lately, there seems to be a great amount of talk about women and how we should behave, think, feel and exist.

Women are expected dress a certain way otherwise we must be a two dollar hoe just cuz we show some damn skin or boobs or leg.

Women are expected to be more inclined to stay at home, clean house, take care of the churrin stupid grown ass child included, have a hot meal on the table at least twice a day and put out whenever and however the husband pleases.

We can’t be independent and do for ourselves because we’re the weaker sex. We can be sexualized against our will but not sexual on our own accord.

We can’t be President or a coach in the pros.

We cannot possibly be capable of running a successful revenue generating company.

Nope women can’t possibly ever be as omnipresent, professional, deserving of the good life or intelligent as the men who are consistently trying to gain the upper hand by backhandeding their peers. Don’t get it twisted women are just as conniving and ruthless. But unfortunately, women, especially women of color, are under paid significantly compared to a male counterpart in the same position, skill sets and tenure.

Soooooo whachu gettin at Southern Yankee?

This: Women deserve to be treated better. Women deserve to be revered as worthy of anything we put our damn minds too. Young girls like my daughter and nieces should be able to name more than a handful of women who have done something significant in the world’s history.

Women should be afforded the same opportunities as men in everything. Not because we can do everything better because we absolutely can but because the next generation needs to see that. How are we to tell our daughters, nieces, sisters, granddaughters and cousins you can be anything your heart desires if we, the current adults, don’t first set the example? No I’m not saying our sons, brothers, grandsons, etc can’t be whatever they want but in all honesty, boys obviously have it easier unless they’re gay; which then it’s a whole other ball game and certainly a whole other blog post.

Why is it women are good enough to be wives and mothers but not everything else under the sun?

Why are we selfish for wanting a career over family?

Why must we be belittled for having an opinion or fuck even an idea?

Why can’t we be equal citizens under the law instead of being subject to a religiously conservative white male’s opinion of who we are and should be?

Why?

Thanks for reading…
the southern yankee 

A Random Wordy Tuesday

I’d be lying if I said I hardly ever remember the small insignificant little aspects of my life. I’d be lying if I said those insignificant little aspects didn’t still have some sort of affect on me mentally as well as emotionally. I have issues with remembering shit and people at the most inconvenient of times. I have issues trusting and believing in the simplest of concepts.

My life is comprised of people who both inspire me to be the best I can be and those who I have yet to understand their purpose in my life. My heart yearns for the connections that could possibly be severed for life. I indulge in the what ifs and coulda woulda shoulda waaaaaay more than I really should. Not only is it unhealthy but these thoughts of inadequacy, insecurity and uselessness carried over to how I treat people. Which is unfair and unwarranted.

On a day I should be and part of me is happy, I’m reminded of the many opportunities I’m missing out on. On a day when I have a million fucking thangs to do at work, I’m sitting at the dealer protesting the necessity to leave right this second. On a day when I am obviously blessed to see the sun shining and the air against my face, I want nothing more than to be in bed with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s coffee Heath crunch, a slice of genuine New York cheesecake and some mega stuffed Oreos. don’t judge me!

I promise I’m not going through one of my bouts of depression. yeah I know I sound that way tho I just often have waaaaaay too much time to think. Random asinine thoughts flood my brain as if I ain’t got shit else to think about. the randomness of other people’s actions, opinions, personalities, style of dress, etc trigger a multitude of memories and emotions that I really don’t wanna deal with.

As I get older, the more I realize I want more outta life. I want the simple aspects of life. I want the “that would be the least of my problems” aspects of life instead of the “fuck! Not this bullshit again!” Is that asking too much outta life?

Perhaps I am. Perhaps the cliché “good things come to those that wait” is true but as my sis says “I’m getting too old for this shit!”

Thas for reading…

 

the southern yankee