This post was originally posted on Jun 28, 2014 @ 19:57 CST
As you may know, Luquisha Renáe has been natural again for a little over 13 months. In the last 13 months, Luquisha and I have learned a lot about what works, what doesn’t work and the why what I was doing before didn’t work.
I can tell you that the main reason Luquisha and I fought during the first stint of being natural because I was one of those naturals who was guilty of 3a/3b/3c hair envy/jealousy/coveting. Call it whatever and I was doing it. I couldn’t understand why my hair didn’t look like my friend’s hair. Her hair was (and still is) very “curly”, thick and long. (Notice I put the word “curly” in quotations. This word is one of the main reasons why I’m writing this post. But I’ll explain that in a bit.) Even when she would flat iron her hair it was thick and half way down her back.
I constantly compared my hair to hers without first thinking “her hair texture and curl patterns are completely different from mine” or “whereas her hair was springy and bouncy, mine was just kinky and shrunken.” shrinkage is a mutha fucka
I was very discouraged and really felt clueless as to what to do to make Luquisha long and luxurious for her texture and curl pattern. So in an act of desperation and sheer tiredness, I went back to the dark side.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas I went back to the creamy crack. It was painful to run back to what I was use to but thinking about it now I needed that period of personal growth. Lemme explain I’ll try to keep this short and sweet!
When I returned to the dark side, I was at a point in my life when I didn’t love anything about myself. Murphy’s Law was in full effect in 2009 and I wanted nothing more than to find some sort of simplicity in and for my life. My hair was the easiest thing to change. But, in the process of finding Luquisha’s place and importance in my life, I found a wonderful hairstylist who worked WONDERS on my hair. Talk about a hur miracle worker. Miss May (my beautician) is the best that’s ever happened to Luquisha and me for that matter. In four years’ time, my relaxed hair grew faster than it ever did in previous years. And it was thick yo! SO thick and purdy! But it was also ex pen sive! Of course I wasn’t spending as much as most relaxed women but it was enough for me to kick around the idea of going natural again. Plus the cost of living was rapidly increasing for me. So again I was preparing myself and Luquisha for another change.
Was I ready for this change? Was Luquisha gonna “act right”? I didn’t have answers nor do I still to those questions. The truth of the matter is that I couldn’t answer those questions until I embarked on the journey. So I did.
The difference between now and then is the fact that I have Miss May and there is more information about natural hair on the internet. More people (women as well as men) are going natural. More people are falling in love with their natural hair and the symbolism that goes along with it. Another difference is that my APO little, Jules, recently went natural and is going through this journey with Luquisha and I. As I learn new aspects about my hair, I pass them along to her. Yes I know that no two naturals are alike nor should they be considered alike. However, there is nothing wrong with finding common ground between your hair texture/curl patterns with someone else’s.
I find that in this natural hair community there are a lot of comparisons between naturals instead of let’s help each other get to the point we each want to reach. It doesn’t help me to envy a 3a/3b/3c natural if my hair will never be as loose or curly there’s that word again as hers or his for that matter. And that’s another thing… being natural isn’t just for ethnic women. There are plenty natural haired individuals
which includes my natural haired bros in all colors of the rainbow and we should embrace that wholeheartedly because we all could stand to learn something new about natural hair and the varying textures that reside within this ever flourishing community.
I know I’m going on and on about you dunno what because you dunno why.
I watched a couple of YouTube videos yesterday that sorta struck a nerve and a thought. Two videos touched on 4c kinky coily hair — one was a rant of sorts about the lack of attention to the 4c demographic and the other was a response to the rant video. Looking in from the outside, I can understand where both of these ladies are coming from. But my opinion from before still stands true. There would be no need for videos such as these if naturals would just band together as one group to help each person achieve healthy nourished hair. That is what we all want isn’t it?!
go ahead and think about that. I’ll wait for your comments…
On the flip side of the above debate between naturals, I found this video by AfrikanHairGod that sent Luquisha and I running through our make believe roads of naturalville!! He is a cosmetology student and a natural haired individual. Now before I talk about this particular video, I have to say I was full of haterade yesterday when I watched one of his other videos because his hair is beautiful! He’s not only a talented stylist in his own right but he’s very informative in terms of styling techniques and how to moisturize natural hair. And that may be because he is attending cosmetology school. I don’t really know. What I do know is that I appreciate the hair typing video he posted on Thursday, June 26th. I appreciate him going into great detail about the covered topics. I appreciate the time it took to make this video because honestly I have not seen any other videos like it. And I suppose that’s the real reason I’m writing this post.
I’m by far not at all an expert on natural hair nor am I trying to be. But I would like the “experts”
as well as others (you know who you is) I watch on YouTube as well as read about on the natural hair blogs to focus more on the information and technique than one’s hair type. The information needs to vary more than be focused mostly on one or two hair types. Of course, I’ll be perfectly honest I may not be looking in all the right places for information I’m seeking. I’m grown enough to admit that about myself.
However, for those who are freshly transitioning, like my little sister, the information out there is horribly overwhelming especially if your hair is kinky coily like hers and mine. And while this isn’t my first attempt at being natural, I still seek to gain a better understanding about my hair texture. There is more information available now than there was in 2006 but there’s still a huge lack of information. There’s still an underlying tone that natural hair should be curly and not kinky or dare I say it… Nappy!
There should be embrace and not segregation. There needs to be a band of naturals as a whole and not by type designations. Don’t you think?!
Thanks for reading…
The Southern Yankee