Dearest Daughter: 15 years 1 month

Dearest Daughter,

SOOO you’ve reached a month into your 15th year of life. How does it feel? If you’re anything like your dear ol’ birth mom then you’re itching to get your driver’s license. Buuuuut I’m pretty sure your mom and dad are not quite ready for that. I know, no one in the family was ready for me to drive for real. I see your side eye young lady… I grew up in the country and have been driving since the ripe old age of 5. Yaaaaas five years old. Your great-grandfather had me driving our old tractor when I was a kindergartner. And when I was nine, I graduated to my mom’s old Chevette. I’m sure you dunno nada about either of those things.  You’re the city slicker I’ve always said I was when in actuality I’m just a citified country girl.

Yes I’m rambling. I sorry. I’ll get back on track.

Sigh to be fifteen again. I got into a lot of trouble between my fifteenth year of life. Hell you almost arrived 6 years ahead of when you were born. Considering I was in high school at the time, you being here would have been an even bigger challenge but I know you would’ve been loved immensely and spoiled absolutely rotten. Perhaps more than I would have liked but I know in my heart of hearts I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. But that’s neither here nor there now. That was a (@&$)#&_@#&)@&%)#&$@) years ago.

It is my hope you’re not as completely rotten as I was in high school. Hell, I probably wasn’t as terribly rotten as some teenagers you hear about on the news nowadays. But for that time and our family, I was a little TOO rebellious. It was a different time then. I know by saying that I sound incredibly old which i ain’t so don’t go tryna call me old but life wasn’t lived out in the open then. Being that the family was possibly still is very religious and very conservative, everything I did was examined under a microscope. Nothing was of my own. Nothing was really “oh she’s just being a kid or experimenting with life.” Everything was “how could you? What were you thinking? Do you know how this makes me look?” Sigh… gawd I hope the family treats you differently. I hope to GOD they allow you to be your own person and allow to make a decision without the world and the sky for that matter falling harshly on your shoulders.

I hope you’re enjoying your fifteenth year of life so far baby girl. It’s just the beginning of the most wonderful time in your life outside of college. You learn so much about yourself in high school. You start to figure out what you like and dislike. You’re introduced to subjects that might fuel your decision in a college major. You start to figure out which of your friends are really your ride or die. The world is literally your oyster and I hope your parents allow you to experience that wholeheartedly but within reason of course since you’re a minor.

Don’t try to grow up too fast either. I think you know what I mean by that. reread the third paragraph You have all the time in world to be and do adult type thangs. Like when you’re eighteen. Please when you’re eighteen. I remember how my mom was throughout my high school years. I remember all the “talking to” I’d get because I wanted to be curious and of world. Yes teenagers are going to do what they do anyway regardless of who tells them anything. But if you were with me today, I’d be sure to be open and honest with you about what life could and should possibly be. I wouldn’t hide behind my fears of you finding out for yourself from sources that may not have your best interest at heart.

I would use my experiences to educate you and let you know this, this and that as well as that can happen. So many things I would do differently from my mom. So many conversations as mother and daughter instead of nothing at all. Ni modo. Perhaps one day we’ll be able to talk about everything under the sun.

Until then… i love you dearly baby girl. hope you’re doing well.

 

❤ mami

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