Dearest Daughter: Happy 15th Birthday!

Dearest Daughter,

Happy Birthday baby girl!

Were you up all night waiting for the stroke of midnight to come? I’m sure you were. I mean you my kid for the love of all things wonderful and self-centered on one’s birthday.

I remember this day like it was just yesterday and not 15 years ago.

It was a Friday afternoon. I went to class and work that day. I wasn’t feeling well so I asked my boss if I could leave early. Thankfully, let me go because I was not good for anybody’s full work day. I walked back to my dorm and proceeded to try to relax. What happened next was the beginning of a very long afternoon.

One minute I’m going to the restroom… The next minute I was frantically calling your aunt who didn’t pick up her phone and running downstairs to the lobby to get someone to call an ambulance because apparently you decided you wanted to make presence known that day. But unfortunately for both of us, my cervix wasn’t dilating and I was losing a lot of blood. And I was scared and alone. Well not so alone because my RA Dominique was with me. She rode with me and was in labor and delivery with me.

Anyway they prepped me for surgery. You were to be born via Cesarean section. I didn’t want that. I DID NOT WANT TO BE CUT OPEN! But it didn’t matter what I wanted. You needed to come that day at that time. So I let go and let God.

I remember when they gave me the epidural shot.

I remember seeing my RA’s face and the anesthesiologist talking to me about what was happening and how I might feel during and after everything was done.

I remember hearing your sweet cry and saying he’s here and the doctor saying no she’s here. I was so mad at you for tricking me into thinking you were a boy and not a girl. See you had your thumb between your legs when I had the ultrasound done. Sneaky little imph you.

I remember when I held you for the first time. I remember my friend Flo calling you mohawk because you had the cutest little curly mohawk with a head FULL of hair when you were born.

Everything about you was absolutely P E R F E C T.

The three days I got to spend with you changed my life completely. How I wish I listened to my heart and not my selfish mind. I never should have let you out of my sight. I never should have….

I never should have stopped fighting for you. But I wanted you to have more. Be more. Be provided more.

With that said, I hope and pray to God you have had an interesting and wonderful life so far. I hope that you receive and become everything you’ve ever hoped for and then some.

I love you so much my sweet sweet baby.

Happy happy birthday!!

Love, Mami 😘

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