Bees in the Tramp

There are several types of hoes.

There’s the hoe’s hoe. This is a hoe that fucks around for shear fact of fucking around. This gal or guy loves sex. Like luuuuuuuuvs sex. He or she is careful about who the fuck buddy is and how many to keep around at any given time. A hoe’s hoe understands that he or she may not be the other persons sole fuck buddy. He or she also understands the necessity of having protection on them at all times and the importance of getting tested every three to six months.

There’s a T H O T. Pronounced like thought. According to Urban Dictionary, T H O T stands for that hoe over there. T H O T is by no means one of those words that should be taken as a compliment. If you’re called a T H O T, yous a nasty hoe. You the hoe nobody wants to touch wit a ten foot pole. No amount of or even strength of contraceptive is enough to fuck wit a damn T H O T. NO TING AT ALL MAYNE!

Then there’s a thirsty hoe. A thirsty hoe tries too fucking hard to be everything and anything for the fuck buddy of the day, week or month. A thirsty hoe wants to be with someone so bad that he or she will fuck anybody who shows even the slightest ounce of attention. Thirsty hoes don’t always see the writing on the fucking wall. More often there are bright red gargantuan flags waving in they damn face but yet so so supposedly loves him or her. No bitch not even close. Yous a T H O T wit too much damn ambition.

The homie Sam and I know this thirsty T H O T who fancies herself as a hoe’s hoe but that bitch ain’t even close. We’re gonna call her Roper, for reasons you will soon understand. If I remember Roper correctly, she’s a shawt sorta stocky broad. Sweet as pie but dumb as fuck when it comes to fuckin’ around. Here lately Sam’s stories about her have been everything short of logical.

For example, let’s start with Tree Rompus. 

Dawg have I told you about Roper’s latest adventure?

Do I really wanna know? After the Fast Keys Eddie, I can’t bear to hear anything else about this hoe. 

I have to tell you dawg because it confuses me and I need to know I ain’t crazier than I already am. 

It’s that serious huh? Fine what and I use that term loosely she do nah?

Well she met this dude online. She say he got money and a nice house. 

Here we go. 

Dawg it gets better.


She met him after only talking to him for a couple of days. AND when she met him he wasn’t exactly the age posted on his profile. 

Please stop this. I’m already spent with her.

Wait man just lemme finish 

Jesus lawd why do I love a good chisme 

Anyway…. So she went over to his house the other day. He met her outside. And led her into the back yard. 

Oh hells naw you can stop this story nah dawg cuz I already know where it’s leading. Why is Roper do damn stupid?

Zxactly my thoughts when she told me about it the other day. But wait it gets better. He’s apparently a freak nasty old fucker cuz he asked her if he could tie her up. S&M type shit.

But they in the backyard dawg?! Where da fuck would he… (Dramatic Pause) Oh hell da fuck naw! No bitch why is she so stooooopid?!?! You need better hoe friends.

Precisely my damn point. I wanted to crawl over the table and smack her dumb thirsty T H O T ass. 

She asked no questions? Said hey this is a little too freaky deeky? Certainly some sorta red flags were waving right?! RIGHT?!?!




Dawg, please find better hoe squad members. This shit is too triflin’ for me right now. 

You see what I deal wit?!

You wouldn’t have to if you’d cut these hoes loose.

Soooo what you thank? 


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