So today’s topic is somewhat difficult. What is something you hate about yourself? Hate is such a strong word don’t you think? I mean can a person really dislike something about him or herself so much that he or she ends up hating that aspect or characteristic? The answer is yes. I despise more than just a few things about myself. I despise them so much that I project that discontentment on other people. I know that seems messed up but I’m human and I do not always want to recognize that (or admit for that matter) what I dislike about other people is what I truly dislike about myself.
So what is it that I hate about myself? I won’t give the usual I have my physical appearance because I don’t really hate the way I look because when I want to be (which is rare), I can look smokin’ hot! Hair. Nails. Boots. BAM! Point is I can change my appearance anytime I want it just takes effort on my part.
I think what I truly hate about myself is that I am easily distracted by almost anything. Sort of like this. It never fails actually. Case in point I started making something for my sister Cheri almost two weeks ago and I have yet to finish it. I’m in the moment for a day or two and on day three I’m on to the next one. It’s quite sad actually because I have a million great ideas and/or projects to do but it seems like I never finish them or if I do finish something, the end result isn’t what it really could be. I find myself rushing through projects or doing the bare minimum. While that used to work in my favor when I was at Baylor, it doesn’t work so well now that I’m older. I feel like I can do and be better at everything I initially put my mind to but in the last few years, my motivation level has gone from a 10 to 1.
Not that I’m complaining or even being extremely pessimistic but perhaps being an adult is why I have been so distracted recently. And before I start going all Dr. Phil on myself trying to analyze on my problems and why I’m so screwed up let me just say by adult I don’t mean my emotions. I mean the daily rigors of being an adult. The getting up at the butt crack of frickin dawn. The driving from Podunkville to Stepford. The paying of bills, buying gas, groceries and the unexpected bullshit I need to fix my fuckin car items. I never wanted to be this adult who lives paycheck to paycheck working at a job I really could care less for and driving a car I love but cannot afford to maintain. Bother I said I wasn’t going to go all Dr. Phil so I will save this rant for another post.
So yeah.. LOL I am easily distracted with an attention span the size of an ant. Hopefully this 30 Days of Truth challenge will force me to focus.
Thanks for reading…
The Southern Yankee